I miss my Creator (spring break 2016)

*written sometime late at night in the midst of midterm season, published way later*

Spring Break 2016 isn’t going to be easy. I mean yeah, life is never really “easy”, but for private and personal reasons this one is going to be a doozy. But in spite of that, there are a few things that I want to happen in the span of one hectic week:

  1. I want to love on my parents as much as possible this week. That means cutting down on my complaints and shoving my bratty only-child spoiled tush into a closet and telling her to be quiet for once in her life. THAT MEANS don’t complain when they want to take touristy photos with their selfie-stick. Ohmygoodness, Becca, suck it up. You won’t regret the photos later on. SMILE.
  2. Eat good, healthy food. (Okay so this one is pretty tentative).
  3. Drink gallons of high quality coffee.
  4. Jane Austen (my one and only Valentine) and I have been estranged for about a year, and it’s about time we rekindled our relationship.
  5. Additionally, CS Lewis and I also happen to have a budding friendship going on. It’s high time he and I got some good quality time together.
  6. Sleep.
  7. Adventure.
  8. Maybe get ahead on my class work? (Ahahaha, Becca, please).

More than anything though, I need some time with God. Good quality alone time to hear from Him. To bury myself far into His Word and fall deeply in love with Him. Somehow in the past few weeks of getting closer than I have ever been to Him, I also managed to get knocked badly off course in my pursuit of Him. It’s terrible. Because I had been pouring so much of His truth into my life, in just a few days of “slipping up”, I felt emptier than I had ever been in my life. I guess that is really just the reality of the absence of pursing God. It’s a hole that leaves you feeling purposeless, sleepless, and lost.

And you know, I can feel it. I can see it. Jesus sitting in our usual spot, waiting for me to come and talk to Him… To rest and confide in Him. Instead I’ve slept in and told Him, “just five more minutes”, and two hours later when I’m running late to class “sorry Jesus, I just don’t have time for You right now”. HOW HORRID IS THAT. Would you do that to your friends? NO, I would hope not. Oh, the hurt He must be feeling. And, oh, how even just writing this, I long for our early mornings watching the sun rise. But even greater… oh, the LOVE He continues to lavish on proud, flaky, self-serving me.

Hah, looks like the first thing I’m doing after putting this post up is slipping into confession and repentance mode.

Hasta la pasta, folks. Have a brilliant spring break!

~Soli Deo Gloria


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