5am intimacies

***I wrote this 5 months ago, but I think it deserves to be put up***

I am a college student twenty-one days from turning 20-years old and oh boy has this been quite the journey. The past six months have been some of the most eye-opening and vivid experiences in my life. I switched out of a major that was choking me, I let go of people that were hurting me, and I took a huge step towards intimacy with Jesus Christ.

About two months ago, though I was a lot less stressed than I had been the my first year-and-a-half of college, I was unsatisfied. I tried hanging out with friends, I tried being spontaneous, and I slept a lot. While there was joy and fulfillment in those things, it was never enough. One morning at exactly 4:27am, I woke up to what I can only describe sounded like a mixture of the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack and the wind, and I decided this time I wasn’t going to fall back asleep (as I would normally). I boiled water, prepped tea, and cracked open my neglected Bible and spent a good solid two hours having conversation with my Creator.

It was in those quiet moments as the sun peeked through my blinds, and as my parents began to slip of their REM cycle down the hall that I promised to God that my time with Him would be habitual. I swore that every morning at 5am, before I ate anything, I would spend time in His word and time in prayer getting to know and hopefully become more like Him.

This habit changed my life, and sure I have not always been consistent, but I have been getting better. God’s presence has been so vivid in my life the past few weeks that just one day off the schedule I promised to keep leaves the rest of my day bleak and unfulfilled. To you Bible-reading veterans out there, I’m sure this is all old news to you, but to a young adult who is barely scraping her life together, this is ASTOUNDING.

As a young girl growing up in the church, reading Scripture was just something you did, and was done with. I would read my Bible every year (which wasn’t hard because I loved reading anyway), and I would be content with just that. But there is a huge difference in just reading and meditating. “Meditating” is like eating a full meal with all the nutrients you need to survive, while “just reading” is like eating a Hot Pocket. I was eating Hot Pockets for years when I could have been having a feast everyday.

My life changed six months ago when I switched majors, but my life TRANSFORMED when I started spending intimate and fruitful time with Christ. My friends see less of me now because I go to sleep at 10pm to wake up before the sun, and many of them comment about how lame that is. But I have not missed out on anything that I cannot catch up on later. Right now my mornings are being spent chasing the only thing that could ever possibly give me fulfillment in life, and that is Jesus Christ. #noragrets

-Soli Deo Gloria

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