should you ever fall in love | a *revised* letter that younger me wrote to herself |

Dear Rebecca,

Congratulations, God put a man in your life to walk with. Are you scared? Are you fighting against it? Are you hesitant because you don’t want to be hurt? Well, stop. Rebecca if this is God’s will for you, RUN with this man, run to your Creator. Remember that you said that God was in charge of your singleness, and if He wants you to be in a relationship, well babe… who are you to question God’s will for you?

Just a few reminders, in case you’ve fallen for a man that maybe God hasn’t intended for you, maybe this will wake you up. Or maybe this will affirm that this is the guy for you…

You need a man who will lead you spiritually, a man who will study Scripture with you, and a man who will pray for and with you. You need a man who holds the same values as you. He needs to love his family, and you know what if not, he at least needs to learn to love yours. This man needs to pursue you, you’re insecure. You need to be reminded that you’re loved quite often. Make sure that this man can provide for you. Make sure he can take care of you and your family (should you start one). MAKE SURE you’re headed in the same direction. God called you to go serve in ministry for human trafficking. Is he okay with that? Is he going to follow you? Will he honor that?

Does he respect your nerdiness? Is he okay with your long periods of silence? Does he understand that you are both introverted and extroverted? Are you able to be yourself around him? Does he adore your silliness, does he love the derp you know you are? Make sure he is able to hold all of these things dearly, because they are integral parts of who you are as a woman.

Okay and like, make sure that your parents approve of this guy, okay? This is important. Make sure he meets your church family, because they are a part of you too. This is a good test, because they won’t make it easy on him. But it will be good because if he truly loves you, he will make the effort to come and meet them all and love them. Remember that. Make sure you meet his family and friends too. Get to know them, love them. If you get married you will all be family.

I don’t think this will be a problem, but just in case… make SURE he loves Jesus. Make sure he’s racing towards God’s heart. Is he a prayer warrior? Does he entrench himself deeply in Scripture? Does he work in ministry? Is he actually walking with his life or is he just saying a lot nice sounding things?

Make sure he loves you like Christ loves the church. That means relentlessly with endless pursuit. Make sure he’s someone you can respect and submit too. And like Tita said… make sure he is gentle to you and kind to you.

My dear, if he’s not these things… run away. Let go. Go.

And my heart… if you’re still single. Celebrate. You LOVE being single. You love the freedom that comes with it. Remember what Paul says about singleness, continue to rejoice in the seasons of life God has put you in. Remember the ways you can serve your God as a single woman. Remember that blessing. (Just don’t run away because you love being single more than you love the idea of being in a relationship, okay? I feel like you’re going to need reminding of this a lot).

Rebecca, if he’s all these things and more… love him. Respect him. Cherish him. I know you will, you give too much sometimes. You are too willing to sacrifice yourself sometimes… but oh, with the right man, it’s SO WORTH IT.

Don’t be afraid.


Your concerned & excited younger self

-Soli Deo Gloria


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