fear, again

Dear Fear, Hello friend it’s good to see you again. You always come unexpectedly, just when I thought you were gone. Today you came in the form of twinges of sadness as I said goodbye to my friends who were going home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Today, you greeted me at the door as I walked into a completely empty…

snippets of story | entry 1 |

some of you know me as “the singer”, the short Filipina girl with a surprisingly hefty voice. some of you know me as a “sass monster”, the one who can’t go a conversation without endearingly joking with someone. some of you know me as the “girl who disappeared”, the one who showed up all the time,…

we gon be alright

Dear Punk, You and I both don’t receive affirmations well, but try to soak this one in okay? I appreciate you a lot. I don’t think you understand how deeply I have learned to cherish your friendship. If I’m honest I’m not sure what our relationship was going to look like at the beginning of this…

I am honored

Dear X, You gave me a huge piece of your story today. It’s undoubtedly God’s and always will be, but you gave a section to me to care for. I promise to keep this safe, to hold tightly to it. I promise to care well for it, to nourish it and protect it. X, I…

to my brother

Dear David, Tonight is one of those nights where I can feel your absence as tangibly as I can feel the keyboard under my fingers. Other than the low hum of the TV show dad is watching, it’s quiet here at home… just as it always has been. But in missing you, the silence continues…

take the world, but give me Jesus

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The…

kindred spirits

surround yourselves with people who will walk through life with you. who will listen carefully when your heart is breaking, who will reassure you that your heart is important when you agonize about the same thing for the hundredth time. find people who will share music with you, who will send you funny memes, and…

beauty in honesty

I don’t know why I’ve always been so afraid of honesty. I’m not a compulsive liar, I’ve never been one to falsify my life… but a white lie and a lie of omission are still lies nonetheless, right? I’m talking about not telling someone when they’ve hurt you, about keeping conflict bottled up instead of…

ladder rung

I don’t know what you see when you look at me, but when I look in the mirror I see a girl who has no idea what she’s doing. I see a girl who spends most of her hours trying her best to care for others, but still continues to feel a little hollow on…

let me feel

***originally written 10.27.16*** I’m the girl that learned to bottle up her emotions and block them out. I’ve hidden from pain all my life. Somewhere inside of me is still a 9 year old girl who is crying because people had done things to her that present day her cannot remember. I have thrown up…