I am poem… for Grandpa

I wonder if you know what you left behind.

I hear the sound of my mother crying.

I see my family hunched over his body, wailing.

I want to do the same. But the tears won’t come.

 

I pretend that I’ve got it all together.

I feel like I’m about to burst.

I touch the box of memories I am afraid to open.

I worry that when I do remember, I won’t be able to pick myself back up again..

I cry when I remember the time we silently walked to the store because I wanted ice cream. I cry as I remember your steady gait that matched my short toddler legs. I cry when I recall that you held my hand as we crossed the street. I cry.

 

I understand that I’ll see you again.

I say that I am glad you are finally resting.

I dream that when I enter into eternity, you will lead my siblings to me and introduce them all to me by name.

I try desperately to take care of the ones you left behind.

I hope that I will make you proud, the way my mother made you proud.

 

I am sorry for the things I never got to say to you.

Grandpa, thank you.

 

-Soli Deo Gloria

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