my winter song

It’s not truly winter yet, but my winter season has already come in full force. It looks like a lone key sitting, returned, on my dining room table.  It smells like home-cooked Filipino food that greets me when I go home. It feels like my cat who nestles at my side as I fall asleep….

raw sessions: funeral thoughts 

I’m already cranky as I️ leave my apartment this morning. I’m not looking forward to being carsick, and I️ have been dreading this day for weeks, because I️ was not ready to deal with grief again.  So I️ held it together. I️ slept in the car, and I️ kept myself stoic as we entered into…

prodigal daughter

I was talking to my Sponsor and this is what came out of it. I remember sitting still after I had said the words out loud, tears of wonder gathering behind my eyes, while my Sponsor smiled knowingly: “The worst pain I’d ever experienced thus far was having made my mistake and having gone back…

raw sessions: even when it hurts

This has been a season of gritting my teeth in anguish to keep from screaming out loud. I’ve experienced heartbreak, betrayal… I’ve watched yet another loved one pass away as I watch yet another one fade away. I’m watching friends’ hearts shattering to the floor, and I’m watching people who I love deeply experience deep-seated…