why “courage, dearest heart”?

Well, firstly… because “courage, dear heart” the original quote, was already taken. So I had to adjust. But the quote is from Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis (click HERE to read the passage). But essentially, in the midst of a being lost at sea, Aslan whispers to Lucy in her darkest time…

Good Friday thoughts

I’ll be honest, I pretty much forgot it was Good Friday until I read this blog. And honestly I just want to cry as I sit and write this in class. A line stood out to me: Today, everything falls away and there is only Jesus for me. In His presence, my numb, angry heart…

grief feels so much like fear

It’s been three days since grandpa slipped out the door. My heart has been seeping in this grief for three days, but it feels like it has been weeks. Grief is tiresome. It feels like I’m physically sick. I feel unrested, sluggish… sometimes I wake up with a headache and other times it feels like…

I am poem… for Grandpa

I wonder if you know what you left behind. I hear the sound of my mother crying. I see my family hunched over his body, wailing. I want to do the same. But the tears won’t come.   I pretend that I’ve got it all together. I feel like I’m about to burst. I touch the box of memories I am…

grief is an ocean 

I’ve always wondered what grief looked like. It’s always been a faraway thing, that I could barely touch. I’ve caught whispers of it before, it’s brushed up against my life, but today it has washed over my family and I. I have learned that grief is an ocean that ebbs and flows over the people…

I am poem

Backstory. We were given a template for a poem that we were supposed to complete at Jessica’s House. I honestly really wasn’t feeling it. So for about 10 minutes I struggled to scribble down phrases that sounded pretty together. I knew I wasn’t going to volunteer to read it anyway, so why even bother? Then…

to Calvary, once more

God, where are you? God called me to make a choice this weekend, a choice I didn’t want to make, and a choice that I knew would deeply hurt someone I loved. But after arguing with Him, and after even asking for a physical sign which He gave, I obeyed. As predicted, the consequences of…

where did my joy go?

Keeping true to my character, I’ve been running away from my problems. If I’m honest, I’ve been burdened heavily for the past week, and I couldn’t even tell you why. My heart was just heavy, and I was weary in every part of me… But I refused to process what was happening. I diverted my…

teach me how to say goodbye

I’ve never been good with goodbyes. I think I’ve always associated them with abandonment and the stench of a failed relationship. But I’m learning that sometimes, goodbyes don’t have to do with either of those two things. Sometimes goodbyes are ways that we transition out of seasons and into new ones, and sometimes, goodbyes are…

Dear 2016,

You. Sucked. Like really, everything that happened this year… please, enough is enough. 2016, you handed me some of the hardest 6 months of my life, but you also brought me sweetness and joy unlike I could have ever envisioned for myself. I was the loneliest I had ever been, I was the angriest, the…