catering to myself

A friend asked, “How does Becca cater to Becca?” Finding ways for me to rest have never been easy for myself. But in the past few days I’ve had no other choice but to force myself to look for rest and comfort. And so in the past few days I’ve found myself drawing the people I […]

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Good Friday thoughts

I’ll be honest, I pretty much forgot it was Good Friday until I read this blog. And honestly I just want to cry as I sit and write this in class. A line stood out to me: Today, everything falls away and there is only Jesus for me. In His presence, my numb, angry heart […]

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My co-workers asked me what my love languages were. They were surprised when words of affirmation was at the bottom of my list. I wanted to process that more: I have a huge distrust of words, which is weird considering I use words to process things. I write to process through things, I write to express […]

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grief feels so much like fear

It’s been three days since grandpa slipped out the door. My heart has been seeping in this grief for three days, but it feels like it has been weeks. Grief is tiresome. It feels like I’m physically sick. I feel unrested, sluggish… sometimes I wake up with a headache and other times it feels like […]

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I am poem… for Grandpa

I wonder if you know what you left behind. I hear the sound of my mother crying. I see my family hunched over his body, wailing. I want to do the same. But the tears won’t come.   I pretend that I’ve got it all together. I feel like I’m about to burst. I touch the box of memories I am […]

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grief is an ocean 

I’ve always wondered what grief looked like. It’s always been a faraway thing, that I could barely touch. I’ve caught whispers of it before, it’s brushed up against my life, but today it has washed over my family and I. I have learned that grief is an ocean that ebbs and flows over the people […]

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