Good Friday thoughts

I’ll be honest, I pretty much forgot it was Good Friday until I read this blog. And honestly I just want to cry as I sit and write this in class. A line stood out to me: Today, everything falls away and there is only Jesus for me. In His presence, my numb, angry heart…

core issues

I just want to be loved. Every insecurity I have, every time I feel jealous, every fear that clouds my vision… my want to be loved is the root of it all. The fact of the matter is I am scared and I am scarred. As long as I can remember, people have left me….

fear, again

Dear Fear, Hello friend it’s good to see you again. You always come unexpectedly, just when I thought you were gone. Today you came in the form of twinges of sadness as I said goodbye to my friends who were going home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Today, you greeted me at the door as I walked into a completely empty…

to my brother

Dear David, Tonight is one of those nights where I can feel your absence as tangibly as I can feel the keyboard under my fingers. Other than the low hum of the TV show dad is watching, it’s quiet here at home… just as it always has been. But in missing you, the silence continues…

ladder rung

I don’t know what you see when you look at me, but when I look in the mirror I see a girl who has no idea what she’s doing. I see a girl who spends most of her hours trying her best to care for others, but still continues to feel a little hollow on…

let me feel

***originally written 10.27.16*** I’m the girl that learned to bottle up her emotions and block them out. I’ve hidden from pain all my life. Somewhere inside of me is still a 9 year old girl who is crying because people had done things to her that present day her cannot remember. I have thrown up…

this is gonna hurt

Oh, Rebecca. You knew it would be this way. You knew what would happen when you asked to see what God sees. This is what it looks like when you ask God to show you the world the way He sees it. This is the consequence when you ask the Lord to break your heart for what…

letting go | a conversation with my Father |

At DAC, I learned a lot. I learned about budgeting, church, community, and I was forced to face my future; the big scary monster that I had been avoiding up until now. But then in the midst of worship I heard God ask me: Will you give up everything for me? Of course I said yes right…