why “courage, dearest heart”?

Well, firstly… because “courage, dear heart” the original quote, was already taken. So I had to adjust. But the quote is from Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis (click HERE to read the passage). But essentially, in the midst of a being lost at sea, Aslan whispers to Lucy in her darkest time…

Good Friday thoughts

I’ll be honest, I pretty much forgot it was Good Friday until I read this blog. And honestly I just want to cry as I sit and write this in class. A line stood out to me: Today, everything falls away and there is only Jesus for me. In His presence, my numb, angry heart…

grief feels so much like fear

It’s been three days since grandpa slipped out the door. My heart has been seeping in this grief for three days, but it feels like it has been weeks. Grief is tiresome. It feels like I’m physically sick. I feel unrested, sluggish… sometimes I wake up with a headache and other times it feels like…

I am poem… for Grandpa

I wonder if you know what you left behind. I hear the sound of my mother crying. I see my family hunched over his body, wailing. I want to do the same. But the tears won’t come.   I pretend that I’ve got it all together. I feel like I’m about to burst. I touch the box of memories I am…

grief is an ocean 

I’ve always wondered what grief looked like. It’s always been a faraway thing, that I could barely touch. I’ve caught whispers of it before, it’s brushed up against my life, but today it has washed over my family and I. I have learned that grief is an ocean that ebbs and flows over the people…

to Calvary, once more

God, where are you? God called me to make a choice this weekend, a choice I didn’t want to make, and a choice that I knew would deeply hurt someone I loved. But after arguing with Him, and after even asking for a physical sign which He gave, I obeyed. As predicted, the consequences of…

where did my joy go?

Keeping true to my character, I’ve been running away from my problems. If I’m honest, I’ve been burdened heavily for the past week, and I couldn’t even tell you why. My heart was just heavy, and I was weary in every part of me… But I refused to process what was happening. I diverted my…

fall 2016

My fall semester of my last year as an undergraduate at UCM is over. Done. Finito. The moment I turned in my last paper I felt the air rush out of my lungs as a weight lifted off my shoulders. I was done with this semester. After that I felt the exhaustion hit me and…

core issues

I just want to be loved. Every insecurity I have, every time I feel jealous, every fear that clouds my vision… my want to be loved is the root of it all. The fact of the matter is I am scared and I am scarred. As long as I can remember, people have left me….

snippets of story | entry 1 |

some of you know me as “the singer”, the short Filipina girl with a surprisingly hefty voice. some of you know me as a “sass monster”, the one who can’t go a conversation without endearingly joking with someone. some of you know me as the “girl who disappeared”, the one who showed up all the time,…